(Read the NYT review.)

Read the NYT review of “Solitary Man.”

PHYSORG has an interesting post titled “Mathematical model explains marital breakups.” Here is an excerpt:

Most couples marry only after careful consideration and most are determined to make their marriage last, and a happy marriage is widely considered in Western societies to be important for overall happiness. Yet soaring divorce rates and break ups of de facto relationships across Europe and the U.S. show these plans and ideals are failing. Many scholars attribute the increasing rates of breakdown to economic forces and changes in sexual divisions of labor, but this does not fully explain the continuing rise in those rates.

The research was carried out by José-Manuel Rey of the Department of Economic Analysis, at the Universidad Complutense in Madrid, and aimed to provide a mathematical model to explain rising rates of marital breakdown. Using the optimal control theory model, Rey developed an equation based on the “second thermodynamic law for sentimental interaction,” which states a relationship will disintegrate unless “energy” (effort) is fed into it.

(H/t: 3 Quarks Daily.)

It’s hard to resist the fact that we are in many ways a divided nation as noted in the idea of red v. blue parts of the country. There is also the complexity and uniqueness of each person, family system, city, state, and/or region, which in some cases does not fit, can defy, or does transcend this polarization. But, who and where we come from in so many ways tends to determine our self and world views. Red Families v. Blue Families: Legal Polarization and the Creation of Culture by Naomi Cahn and June Carbone helps us understand the nature and effect of who and where we come and how divided we really are. Jonathan Rauch at the National Journal has a review of the book tilted “Do ‘Family Values’ Weaken Families?” Here is an excerpt from it:

The result of this red quandary, Cahn and Carbone argue, is a self-defeating backlash. Moral traditionalism fails to prevent premarital sex and early childbirth. Births precipitate more early marriages and unwed parenthood. That, in turn, increases family breakdown while reducing education and earnings.

“The consequential sense of failure increases the demands to constrain the popular culture — and blue family practices such as contraception and abortion — that undermines parental efforts to instill the right moral values in children,” Cahn and Carbone say. “More sex prompts more sermons and more emphasis on abstinence.” The cycle repeats. Culturally, economically, and politically, blue and red families drift further apart as their fortunes diverge.

Whether Cahn and Carbone are right will take time and subsequent scholarship to learn; but their story is both plausible and sobering. Plausible, because it brings so many aspects of the culture wars into sharper focus. Sobering, because the economic and cultural forces battering traditional family norms show no signs of abating — but the new, education-centered pathway to adulthood is often least accessible to those who need it most.

Author Jennie Shortridge talks about love and biology.

The human need to connect and the many challenges associated with maintaining relationships and trust show up on social media sites like Facebook. Our desire, vulnerability, the person we want the world to see and the one we try to hide, come to the surface through the act of connecting and reaching out to others. The need to connect is a powerful force unleashed into the world, especially in this age of social media technology. What we see in this rapidly emerging cultural trend is all of us trying to break free of the isolation and feel valued and heard as noted in an article from the Boston Globe titled “The loneliness network.” The Telegraph has an article titled “Facebook fueling divorce, research claims: Facebook is being cited in almost one in five divorce petitions, lawyers have claimed,” which corresponds with conversations we are having about how social media networks are playing a significant role in causing break-ups. Here is an excerpt:

Divorce lawyers claim the explosion in the popularity of websites such as Facebook and Bebo is tempting to people to cheat on their partners.

Suspicious spouses have also used the websites to find evidence of flirting and even affairs which have led to divorce.

One law firm, which specialises in divorce, claimed almost one in five petitions they processed cited Facebook.

Mark Keenan, Managing Director of Divorce-Online said: “I had heard from my staff that there were a lot of people saying they had found out things about their partners on Facebook and I decided to see how prevalent it was I was really surprised to see 20 per cent of all the petitions containing references to Facebook.

“The most common reason seemed to be people having inappropriate sexual chats with people they were not supposed to.”

Flirty emails and messages found on Facebook pages are increasingly being cited as evidence of unreasonable behaviour.

Computer firms have even cashed in by developing software allowing suspicious spouses to electronically spy on someone’s online activities.

One 35-year-old woman even discovered her husband was divorcing her via Facebook.

The National Marriage Project (NMP) at the University of Virginia has new research on the state of marital infidelity.

New National Marriage Project Research on Marital Infidelity

In spite of a number of recent high-profile cases of infidelity involving politicians and celebrities, new research from the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia indicates that infidelity has not increased over the last 20 years. Moreover, the public is less likely to condone marital infidelity than it was forty years ago.

“We should not draw any conclusions about adultery from the likes of Mark Sanford, Tiger Woods, or John Edwards,” said Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project. “Adultery is not on the rise among ordinary married couples in America and ordinary Americans take a dimmer view of adultery than they did 40 years ago. This is a point worth underlining, insofar as adultery is linked to markedly higher rates of marital unhappiness and divorce.” For more on U.S. trends in adultery, and attitudes towards adultery, see the National Marriage Project’s new research on this topic.

Click here to view statistics. (PDF)

Life really hasn’t and doesn’t change much from the playground attitudes, postures and antics of our childhood and adolescence. When viewing and working with the reckless behaviors and problems of adults who find themselves in domestic violence disputes, divorce, and/or career crises for example, we see people at their worst, most desperate and destructive. Bullies still reign in many circumstances and the feeling that you can and in fact should get away with certain things on behalf of yourself, family and/or workplace continues to exist, especially in corporate America. Power acquisition and bullying behaviors go hand in hand in the minds of many, especially men. What is the saying “kill or be killed.” Author Nomi Prins “explains the workplace warrior complex and how a certain playground bully mentality is connected to reckless deregulation.”

Senator Diane Savino (D-Staten Island) gives an amazing defense for Marriage Equality and provides a stinging critique of the real attack on American marriages in Albany, NY December 2, 2009. A must watch.

(Hat tip to the Daily Dish.)