Christroher Hitchens has a must read post at Slate that nails what the rally in Washington DC was really about titled “White Fright; Glenn Beck’s rally was large, vague, moist, and undirected—the Waterworld of white self-pity.” Here is an excerpt:

In a rather curious and confused way, some white people are starting almost to think like a minority, even like a persecuted one. What does it take to believe that Christianity is an endangered religion in America or that the name of Jesus is insufficiently spoken or appreciated? Who wakes up believing that there is no appreciation for our veterans and our armed forces and that without a noisy speech from Sarah Palin, their sacrifice would be scorned? It’s not unfair to say that such grievances are purely and simply imaginary, which in turn leads one to ask what the real ones can be. The clue, surely, is furnished by the remainder of the speeches, which deny racial feeling so monotonously and vehemently as to draw attention.

(The Edge of Dreaming.)

(Lily Allen.)

(Read the Time article about this series titled “Better TV Through Chemistry.”) Here is an excerpt from it:

If the Coen brothers were to make a TV show, it might look something like this. Like Fargo, Breaking Bad is the story of a mild-mannered man who, first through need and then through greed, spirals into criminality. Like No Country for Old Men, it levels an unblinking gaze at human cruelty. And like many of the Coens’ films, it leavens these dark themes with a mordant sense of humor.

Discover has a great article titled “The 4 Stages of Fear, Attacked-by-a-Mountain-Lion Edition: Fight and flight are part of the brain’s automatic system for dealing with life-threatening situations—but there’s more to the story.” Here is an excerpt:

When a person is frozen with fear, she is motionless but far from passive. With cortisol and adrenaline coursing through her body, she is primed for physical action, alert and intensely focused. The heart rate slows and blood pressure shoots up. Muscles tense and the pupils dilate. The body may tremble and the eyes bulge. If the fear is intense, the mind might be plunged into a state called hypervigilance, in which a person scans the environment rapidly and randomly, unable to think through the available options clearly.

Freezing is a posture of an animal that, while in danger, is primarily concerned with not getting in worse danger. Its plan is to do nothing, hope to avoid being detected, and see what happens. In the natural environment, it often proves an effective strategy. Young antelope can spend the better part of the day lying crouched and motionless in tall grass, their ears tucked and heads pressed against the ground. When accidentally disturbed by a passing lion or hyena, they bolt so unexpectedly that the predator may be too startled to chase after them.

Trust is our most valuable and hard earned resource, but we seem to squander it without regard for how precious and fragile it is and how quickly we can lose it. I think of earning and maintaining someone’s trust as linked to accountability and how authentic we are towards others and within ourselves. PSYBLOG has a great post in this regard titled “The Trust Gap: Why People Are So Cynical.” Here is an excerpt:

People often say that it’s experience that breeds this cynicism rather than a failing in human nature. This is true, but only in a special way.

Think about it like this: the first time you trust a stranger and are betrayed, it makes sense to avoid trusting other strangers in the future. The problem is that when we don’t ever trust strangers, we never find out how trustworthy people in general really are. As a result our estimation of them is governed by fear.

(Find the image above here.)

We have had amazingly complex discussions with single people, mostly women, about the dating scene and finding a partner. These conversations center on exploring the many reasons it’s so hard to find someone. The stories we hear from our single friends who are actively trying to date are at times unbelievable, describing bizarre behaviors, total lack of awareness, and some remarkable acts of deceit.

The themes that always jump out for me are a lack of follow-through and this inability to be honest with and accountable. As a married person I see the dating world as filled with people who seem terrified of one another. Scientific American has an article titled “Changing the Dating Game: When women approach men instead of vice versa, the gender difference in selectivity disappears” that addresses some important questions. Here is an excerpt:

Women are much choosier than men when it comes to romance. This is well known, but the reason for this gender difference is unclear. Evolutionary psychologists think it is because back in prehistoric times “dating” was much riskier for women. Men who made an ill-advised choice in the ancient version of a singles bar simply had one lousy night. Women who chose unwisely could end up facing years of motherhood without the critical help that a stable partner would have provided.

That is less true today, yet women remain much more selective. Is this difference a vestige of our early ancestry? Or might it be totally unrelated to reproductive risk, the result of something more modern and mundane?

(Find the image above at lafleurerouge’s photostream.)

We are of course dedicated to exposing child abuse and protecting children wherever it exists and whenever possible. The incidents and degrees of child abuse that occur in this country and around the world are hard to fully assess because these acts are mostly hidden from us. We have to dig through the shame and manipulation and get inside the homes and institutions where abuse takes place. But the tension of seeking the truth, protecting rights of privacy, and the barriers of power, fear, and shame, trip us up when it comes to prosecuting child abusers. The greatest example of this tension is what has been happening within the Catholic Church and the most recent allegations regarding the current Pope’s involvement in protecting Priests. The NYT has yet another important article titled “Future Pope Stalled on Abuse Case, Letter Suggests.” Here is an excerpt:

The future Pope Benedict XVI resisted pleas to defrock a California priest with a record of sexually molesting children, citing concerns including ”the good of the universal church,” according to a 1985 letter bearing his signature.

The correspondence, obtained by The Associated Press, is the strongest challenge yet to the Vatican‘s insistence that Benedict played no role in blocking the removal of pedophile priests during his years as head of the Catholic Church’s doctrinal watchdog office.

The letter, signed by then-Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, was typed in Latin and is part of years of correspondence between the Diocese of Oakland and the Vatican about the proposed defrocking of the Rev. Stephen Kiesle.

The Vatican confirmed Friday that it was Ratzinger’s signature. ”The press office doesn’t believe it is necessary to respond to every single document taken out of context regarding particular legal situations,” the Rev. Federico Lombardi said.

(Also read the Daily Dish post about this recent development titled “The Third Strike.”)

The ways in which we as adults and as a society have been focusing more on children and their needs over the past few decades has brought us closer to understanding and subsequently valuing who they are more. Families have been going through major transformations because of this focus on child development and parenting. Both new social media technology and the economic crisis are also causing us to redefine how we connect, who we spend our time with, what we we do together, and ultimately who and what matters most. The paradox of family is that it ends up holding this tension of both the need for solace and dealing with the real anxiety that stem from the rapid changes and emerging crises we face.

We also see the dark side of family life where abuse and irresponsible adult behaviors cause great and lasting harm. But, the model skill sets for a parent to master are to provide for, guide, defend, and protect your family. During this economic crisis, where joblessness is so high, many of us are home more, anxious, fearful, and less able to provide and protect ourselves or our children. What can come out of this crisis we are facing is recognizing how important it is to spend time together, placing less value on what we have or want to own. Despite the distractions of social media and the stresses of the recession, the NYT has a post by Tara Parker-Pope worth checking out titled “Surprisingly, Family Time Has Grown.”

Lucinda Franks has a series of must read posts at the Daily Beast about the bullying incident at South Haley High School, which led to the suicide of Phoebe Prince titled “Bullied to Death,” “Life and Death at Suicide High,” and “How to Stop a Bully.”

As a culture we expect children and adolescents to buck up and learn how to defend themselves and fight back and here lies the problem. The only response to bullies is to shut them down and contain them before they cause real harm to others. A bully must recognize that there are major consequences for their behaviors and any attempt to bully someone else will quickly be met with authority and never tolerated. Surveillance, intervention and containment are the most important steps to prevent bullying. Just think of all of these kids out there hiding in fear and shame, not feeling like they have anywhere to go to be protected from the terror that stalks them everyday. Here is an excerpt from the “How to Stop a Bully” post:

Every hour and a half, a teenager tries to take his life; many of them are incessantly persecuted by their fellow students, many are cyberbullied on Web sites. And despite efforts to change this culture of bloodlust in the schools, little has been done about it and perhaps nothing can be done.

A rash of recent suicides by bullied teens has inspired 41 states to enact anti-bullying laws but less than half of these have implemented enforceable laws that would significantly tackle the problem. Even in the few states with the strictest laws, where administrators must report every incident of bullying to the state, problem schools can often slip right through cracks in the legislation.